Stepping down into the darkness of light

Sometimes I think :  take this gun from that wall and fire it out
out of boredom to shoot this glass
sylvia plath hedda gabler
hedda gabler sylvia plath

it is all so slow and draining
the snow is raining

i had hope for everything now it is gone
i want the words to be like leafs convoluted and wild
exotic plants

and you
a heavy being I can’t live without
but don’t know what to do with
the childhood is gone
and now
the long days going to autumn
the road in the park muddy
i am slowing down
what happened

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Black holes of insomnia

                            I am afraid I will die and go into the dark

                            holes holes holes

                            I am disintegrating

                            into holes

                            I need to patch myself up

                            my mind is in the black night house

                            my eyes are useless and blind

                            I see only darkness when I close my eyes