We did not exchange any objects
No totems
Or signs of love
However you call it
It was none
In the large structure of air above us
We have left marks of nothing
Now, we can breath
On the lines of telepathic connections
There are no pigeons to gossip
No women to soften this curse
In the large building of emptiness
There is space for loneliness
Secured and safe
—————————————
My grandma was a little bit possessed by the aristocratic madness
Love is a mistake
You lose your resolve, woman
He is not a god, and you are not a bird
You will go straight to well with your nirvana
They don’t want it
They like concrete
I really need to get myself some piano
Oh, Sappho and romantics
Stop strangling me in the sleep
Incubus
You dreamers
All your opium love spelled dreams
Are suffocating
Killing babies in their sleep at night for their selfish lovers
Still nothing about love, Virgin
just spikes and shiny steel
no dead people rising
no kisses
no warm
schizophrenic galaxy
boredom
lucifer is encircling me two days in a row
this week
it is stifling
lucifer on monday
another on tuesday
hope there will be rain
on wednesday
or at least
a rose, with spikes made of her
anger
there is no love in your galaxy,
virgin
expensive diamond skulls
jewellery
I have lost the meaning of waiting
for your sign
I’m lost
and buried
deep deep down
in a darkly underground
But you mine, I think so, tak…
if we were in a paradise…
love and art
but there is a war on
soldier
you better move on
love
you better move on!
kiss and breath
flowers and guns
miss you too much
too much
amazing
this in love feeling is
too much
he said
and she smiled
You conquered
she said
climbing on him
on the bench
in the central park.
I am fragmented and the world is
fragmented shifted the logic is
disjointed
I am the perfect portrait of this
My language slips my tongue
Globalized I
We
We
We
I am bored so terribly so deeply so profoundly
so metaphysically astronomically perpetually
the boring cosmos invisible and silent
the boring people all around me collection of wicked
biological cumulus of dendrites
my biological head tissue is almost dead brain
but still like on duty
is creating this boredom without a break
At the Christmas table my father in law
quotes Marx and says that Lenin was a righteous fellow
I think he says it for me to hear it
but I don’t know
At the Christmas table my mother in law
never talks about politics
and is very devoted to catholic faith
but turns the blind ear to everything
as long as it pays
I sit at this Christmas table
eating their borsch
and feeling quite stupid and dumb
while thinking about my atheist aunt
who was rotting in communist prison
for rejecting the pravda’s of Lenin and Marx
My father in law
is sitting next to me and I don’t know why on my right
again quoting Engels and Marx
and I am eating this salty borsch
thinking about my grandpa’s running away from the Soviet’s hands
I want to get up
but my mother in law
pours into my plate just a little more
of her
sour Christmas borsch.
Marina Abramović,
daughter of Tito’s major and commander –
sells love,
unconditional love, to be exact.
First she made me cry,
Next she made me scared,
now I’m sick again,
Excedrin and bed.
To hell with thinking
this thinking is making you a wreck
Europe, literature,
art
degeneration
syphilis
that’s what you learn
pessimism
and the wish for death.
Oh, the collapse of civilization, oh, complete isolation!
I change my mind every five minutes, no, every 5 seconds, depending on what I see on Facebook. Facebook-book-god- I can not even finish reading a book! Oh, excess of information! I am lost! I would like to live in a cave, with one book arriving a week-instead of this-Amazon is bringing me tones of books, new book chases another and I am looking at them, jumping on them with the hope of finding the solution. What solution? Is what some ignorant bastard can ask – solution to my life, the answer! The Big answer! Answer! And next the jump on the internet-it gives me a little piece of mind for a while-but-my attention suddenly gets so distracted, I am so distracted-and a thought kills a thought-here is a thoughts war! And my mind is a battle! Maybe i should stop writing-yes, I should go to buy new paint-canvas-colors, produce colors, colors I need and I need it right now! Or, maybe I am hungry, hungry, – but I will not be cooking! That is too common-and should I write!? Will they think I am ugly, or a nerd or something? Oh, I hate those stupid Hamericans-why are they so immature??
Should I go somewhere? Is there an important meeting, social mambo-jumbo I should attend? Or maybe I have an appointment with my psychiatrist? Oh, and if I won’t go, he will chase me, call me, he needs his money, he pays his mortgage of my insanity! Mortgage-oh, those people are so boring-who needs a house? I never had one, who cares about bullshit like that? Oh, horrible middle class-there is nothing worse, I am telling you, there is nothing worse than them … the walls without art … or art bought at Ikea factory or Moma art – you know, I cannot go to Moma anymore, I’ve been there an I got nauseus – now, every time they send me a letter – ( they chase me, every institution in this country is chasing me and my money) I want to puke. I need to tell it to my doctor, but i hate doctors. And I don’t need those bastards anymore.
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