Literature, poems, poetry, Uncategorized

This state is deep like a well

This state is deep like a well
long like an underground tunnel

going back in time

decades, centuries

it’s not my fault

not my creation

it’s there

it’s a historical malady
nothing to do with me

I’m just a medium

in my head

decoding it

cleaning my books

the library

magical escape

it’s always a good potion

through the garden of insanity
full of roses
painted blue
it’s dark in the frozen castle

I want to be outside

in the red rose garden
in the sun with
a teenager

red hair
white skirt
that’s the real me
in my head

before the darkness engulfed

put everything into the grave

with a cross
on it
how deadly
I don’t want to be the black raven
I don’t want to see the pit
smell the myrrh
please, take it away from me

betrayal, children, Culture, friendship, gangsters, hate, Literature, love, peace, Poem, poems, poetry, politics, unity, war

This is a war, honey – what a shame.

It was a dream about us being those special sandpit friends

in a nice love-unity

and joy

of building something


without hitting each other with a spade on the head

and scheming to destroy your underground tunnels

when everything seemed to go great

conspiring with the district gang

how to win over me

I had a dream of us being different then them

But those things are impossible

how could I forget that you are the only child

all this mistrust


ego trips

I retreat

to the very end of the park

to talk with the sunshine instead

and play with pebbles and dirt

but then

the anger at your murderous betrayal

hits me



watch you and your gang

delaying my revenge

don’t you think I forgot

about hate

not yet

Art, economics, novel, politics, Satire, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Why my childhood sucked and who stands behind it all – a diary of a stupid girl from the Soviet Block. Investigation.

I was always curious. I didn’t know why there was no toilet paper, although my mother worked in the paper industry so I know from the first hand that there was paper production going on. 
At school – there were this great, great writers, everybody knew they were great. Hemingway for example- but now, what I have stupidly discovered – he was a friend of Fidel. Fidel’s friend. Isn’t Fidel a commie? Commie – means the enemy, the worthless bad guy, who makes us suffer – that is why I have no house and this nasty lady with whom we are sharing our big apartment is disconnecting our power and claiming to the biuro, that we don’t live there anymore. Commie – the murderer. 
So, Hemingway- the American ( aren’t Americans supposed to be good I am asking?) – was a friend of Fidel. The Cuban guy, if you don’t know. Fuck him then. But wait – there is Robert – Robert Redford- the iconic American good boy making a movie about Che. Well, I’ve seen it before but was too ignorant to know – a movie about Che. Che – the commie, the murderer, the reason of our sufferings. 
Fuck them all! And I am not saying it as a compliment. 
Anyway – there was just too much confusion in my upbringing. It all made me sick, temporarily. But I am healthy now and ready for fight- ready to think. My vision is clear and I am not easily corrupted. And since I am very insignificant, I can say everything, even something dumb. 
There is a lot of gossip everywhere. I need to reset my software, my mind software because it got so crumbled I got sick. 
I don’t trust the church either. Or the professors – either from left or right anymore. This one for example; he wants to introduce Zakon in our country. There is something wrong with him and I pity the poor guy. 
Recently – I started studying economics. I didn’t know it was important- how could I know? There was no economy in our state of fools. 
Although I finished the state university – I feel reluctant to play dumb – and curse – but, well, I have to. Yes, I admit, I am the unsuitable one, the one who talks not on the level and my words are sounding hoarse. 
I had a dream that the state university was liquidated. I felt elated. I don’t know why. I always dreaded those professors, so self- important, so inhuman. Before speaking to them – I had to imagine them as little children, but I couldn’t see them that way. See, they couldn’t possibly be children, babies. Impossible. I think they were created in commie laboratories, somewhere in incubators, already adult and ready to kill your soul. 
The same thing is with all institutions anyway. 
And, I always have a censor in my head. But it’s just a fault of my weak personality. Outside influences are very strong and not to be ignored. So just in case I am against everything- temporarily.