Stupid

So what that I am useless
was I created for the use of
the party community family or church?

so what that I am useless talentless brat
or not, who cares

I splash things against the wall
in childish protest
it’s all deaf and reactionless anyway

the earth is invisible so it’s the cosmos
from my mundane despised perspective
it doesn’t seem to matter
it seems it’s all a lie then
nothing of me is being recorded in the fabric of infinity
I was born and I die
and I yell and that is pointless
quick explosion
stupid kid
among the silence

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F*** Cosmos

I am bored so terribly so deeply so profoundly
so metaphysically astronomically perpetually
the boring cosmos invisible and silent
the boring people all around me collection of wicked
biological cumulus of dendrites
my biological head tissue is almost dead brain
but still like on duty
is creating this boredom without a break

Abnormal

I wake up thinking about infinity

I go to sleep thinking about infinity

this isn’t normal

normal is

to think about

the dinner

the shoes

and to pay your taxes

Black holes of insomnia

                            I am afraid I will die and go into the dark

                            holes holes holes

                            I am disintegrating

                            into holes

                            I need to patch myself up

                            my mind is in the black night house

                            my eyes are useless and blind

                            I see only darkness when I close my eyes