Epitaph on the death of M.

I feel like I’m being killed
by an invisible dagger
What is it?
My soul? Maybe –
Is my soul in my brain
mechanical doll
can’t stand straight
and look in the eye of the
danger

at the cemetery
at the grave
it’s dark
but I can’t feel anything
It’s foggy and dull
I’m looking into the hollow eyes of nothing
she is dead

What does that mean?
there
really
d.e.a.d
it is inexplicable

things like that were not supposed to happen

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This state is deep like a well

This state is deep like a well
long like an underground tunnel

going back in time

decades, centuries

it’s not my fault

not my creation

it’s there

it’s a historical malady
nothing to do with me

I’m just a medium

in my head

decoding it

cleaning my books

the library

magical escape

it’s always a good potion

through the garden of insanity
full of roses
painted blue
it’s dark in the frozen castle

I want to be outside

in the red rose garden
in the sun with
me
a teenager

red hair
white skirt
that’s the real me
in my head

before the darkness engulfed

put everything into the grave

with a cross
on it
how deadly
I don’t want to be the black raven
I don’t want to see the pit
smell the myrrh
please, take it away from me