Animus

With you it felt that everything was in alignment

Even my head

Especially it

And my body more grounded

Or my soul

If there is such a thing 

now it is chaos

And all the doors are blocked in my apartment

Can’t talk with anybody

Except for what they throw at me

That’s it

Always interrupted

Whenever my thought is pursuing something

The surface people are like daggers

They are embodied

And I am removed

Once with you I felt there was some meaning

To all what is floating and disjoined

And my mind had been grounded 

But now I hate you

Because all you have seen in me was a woman

And you 

In it 

And me like your canvas or a character.

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The Puzzle of Love

The puzzle of love

is in the mind

but in my head it’s like shattered triangles

sometimes it’s right sometimes it’s left

all that mystical mess

my mind desynchronizes

when I’m trying to avoid your gaze

the puzzle of love

is your quest

TO THE ENEMY

If we could meet up in some beautiful space
a space which doesn’t fit us at all
cease the contradictions in our heads
for a while
then maybe we could stand up for ourselves

maybe they would stop talking
directing our minds
for the duration
of our stay

just a fantasy, enemy
because I’m your adversary
and you are mine

therefore, we are destined
to stay
in our appropriate bedrooms
thinking about the next life

Cyborg’s afternoon

I am not interested in my own thoughts anymore

The Machine does it for me

I just lie there

contemplating these four flies at the ceiling

one of them is doing a peculiar quadrical dance

fly’s quadrille

never seen anything like that before

not that I care about the flies

not that I care about anything

People!

Trying to press my head into my hands

to consolidate, to close the circle

to calm down those algorythms

Mother

she is there too, in my head

and my lover Judas with Jezebel.

The Verge

If I could understand why my mind sways
why it is not satisfied with surface existence
creating mystery and mischief
illegalities
why it is not real in spiritual emptiness
why it needs danger and complications
adventures on the London bridge
the night
the kiss
on the verge of the Tamise

why
can’t it concentrate deeply
on cooking in the domestic cauldron
why my mind
flies
to your lips

This state is deep like a well

This state is deep like a well
long like an underground tunnel

going back in time

decades, centuries

it’s not my fault

not my creation

it’s there

it’s a historical malady
nothing to do with me

I’m just a medium

in my head

decoding it

cleaning my books

the library

magical escape

it’s always a good potion

through the garden of insanity
full of roses
painted blue
it’s dark in the frozen castle

I want to be outside

in the red rose garden
in the sun with
me
a teenager

red hair
white skirt
that’s the real me
in my head

before the darkness engulfed

put everything into the grave

with a cross
on it
how deadly
I don’t want to be the black raven
I don’t want to see the pit
smell the myrrh
please, take it away from me

FREEDOM IS COMPLICATED

It’s so quiet.

What if I could do anything?

There is no plan for tomorrow

I am the most free man

What kind of idea wants to enter my mind?

She is invited

Hope she doesn’t mind the mess

Do I feel any need?

No, I am blank.

So, what next?

Strange

Isn’t that strange, that we, people, are a part of nature and that talking with another person is like talking with a tree, in a sense? It’s bewildering for me. We are just evolved trees. That thought makes my mind a little more peaceful.